Is this thing on?

To those of you still out there listening: first of all, thank you.  That said, I'm not totally giving up on this blog, but I am maintaining a bit more consistency (and relevance, I hope) over at retreat-austin.blogspot.com.  Small biz in the works - come over and say hi!

I always forget...

... how effortlessly enjoyable washing dishes with Paul Simon and a halfway decent beverage can be.

(Man, the blank page was killin' me. Best to just get something down and go from there...)

I know, I know.

It's just that everything is happening so quickly, and I am, at once, so determined to capture it just perfectly that I am actively avoiding my writing, and so worried that in the end I'll fail to capture it at all.

Things are so good, though.

Welcome Home

Welcome Home

A list of interesting(-to-me) things I saw on my drive last week:

1. a great skyline under a hazy sunrise (bye, Chicago! See you later!)
2. the biggest American flag I have ever seen, flying over farmland, no less
3. clouds in a horizontal cylinder that stretched on for miles (I know - I wish I had taken a picture. Sounds boring, but it was actually kind of fascinating.)
4. world’s largest cross (I am not sure if this is its official title, but man, there is a lot of Jesus in central Illinois)
5. the mighty Mississippi, as I crossed the border into Missouri (and there’s a surprise: um, didn’t actually realize I would be driving through Missouri. Geography lesson!)
6. dead coyote (you know, interesting to me)
7. a bright yellow bi-plane flying over a farm in Arkansas
8. dead armadillo (getting close!)
9. 3 hitchhikers (well, two were definitely hitchhikers, one woman was walking along talking on her cell phone, which just seemed out of place for someone who would ask strangers for a ride)
10. red pavement (why are the highways in Arkansas red?)
11. a Texas-shaped stone set into a brand new overpass in Texarkana (and then there were some tears)
12. a billboard with a photo of George W. Bush, and the caption, “Miss me yet? How’s all that hope and change working out so far?” (oh shit, did I make a mistake?)
13. this note, tucked into a gift basket by my dear friend, Angie, welcoming me home

I’ve fallen down on the job of writing over the past couple of weeks. I can’t help but feel guilty. Why, I’m not exactly sure - it’s not as if anyone’s out there hanging on my next word - but I suppose it feels like I’m failing myself somehow. The world has been changing so quickly over here, and I can allow myself the out that more important things have required my focus, but I’m still a bit sad that I didn’t make the time to record at least some of it out here in the open. So. Let’s call this a renewed commitment.

With that, I think I need to remind myself that I can’t catch it all on the page, and that’s okay. Lately, there’s a story (or two or three) running through my mind every day, me thinking of how to phrase it as I wander on a walk or sit in my car or even lay on a blanket looking at the sky. It’s strange, how writing will do that to you - always thinking of the story, sometimes to the exclusion of enjoying the moment. Rest assured though - the moments, on the whole, these days, are being enjoyed.

It’s so good to be home.

More evidence that I am kind of an old person...

I've been finding more articles about photography lately. Not that I believe there are more articles out there than there were before; with a new camera in my hands, I'm just seeing them more than I used to. And I don't really think I am a Polaroid person, but there's something I really like about living vicariously through the instant photographers - Hula's blog, in particular, gives me a consistent stream of inspiration. There's coolness there to strive for.

Probably once a week, I'm tempted to buy some contraption related to this new interest: a Diana+ here, a Holga there, today it was a Polaroid SX-70. And in my efforts to distract myself from finding an online retailer rightnow, I found this article. Outdated at this point, what with the Impossible Project in full, successful swing, but I loved this part of it so much, it made me feel so nostalgic, and at the same time, so supported in my worries over why-does-everything-have-to-be-so-fast-and-impersonal, I knew I would want to read it over and over. Here's the part I'm talking about:

'Because that was part of the beauty of the Polaroid. Mystery clung to each impending image as it took shape, the camera conjuring up pictures of what was right before one’s eyes, right before one’s eyes. The miracle of photography, which Polaroids instantly exposed, never lost its primitive magic. And what resulted, as so many sentimentalists today lament, was a memory coming into focus on a small rectangle of film.

Or maybe not. Digital technology now excuses our mistakes all too easily — the blurry shot of Aunt Ruth fumbling with a 3-wood at the driving range; or the one of Cousin Jeff on graduation day where a flying Frisbee blocked the view of his face; or of Seth in his plaid jacket heading to his first social, the image blanched by the headlight of Burt’s car coming up the driveway; or the pictures of you beside the Christmas tree where your hair is a mess.

Digital cameras let us do away with whatever we decide is not quite right, and so delete the mishaps that not too often but once in a blue moon creep onto film and that we appreciate only later as accidental masterpieces. In fact, the new technology may be not more convenient but less than Polaroid instant film cameras were, considering the printers and wires and other electronic gadgets now required, but at this one thing, the act of destruction, a source of unthinking popularity in our era of forgetfulness and extreme makeovers, digital performs all too well. Polaroids, reflecting our imperfectability, reminded us by contrast of our humanity.' (Kimmelman, Michael. "The Polaroid: Imperfect, Yet Magical." The New York Times 27 December 2008.)

I'm not buying a Polaroid today. That's not really what I'm after. I just want to bring back the humanity.

I quit my job today.

Let us just sit with that for a moment, shall we?

As if I needed a reason...

'The daily activities most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others. The daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting.' (Brooks, David. "The Sandra Bullock Trade." The New York Times 29 March 2010.)